Chattavore

What I ate, plate by plate.

The Care and Feeding of Preschool Classrooms (and Teachers!)

I haven’t been spending very much time here lately.  My energy has been spent somewhere else…and it isn’t my kitchen.

I’ve been teaching way longer than I’ve been writing about food….really, longer than I’ve been very serious about cooking.  I walked into my first classroom, a preschool CDC (self-contained) classroom, almost twelve years ago, a scared-to-death 22-year-old with not so much as a diploma in hand (don’t worry, I was just a week away from graduation!).  One of my friends (who was my first supervisor at aforementioned job) took a picture of me on my second day on the job, when we took a field trip to Hamilton Place Mall to visit Santa.  I have italicized the terms in the previous sentence because I need you to understand the weight of that situation.  I was scared, people.  Real scared.  And you could see it in my face.

Anyway, I spent almost eight years (short a few months) at that job before moving on to my last job as an elementary exceptional education (i.e. special education) teacher.  I spent four years at that job, although it didn’t take me four years to realize that preschool was my home.  So, finally, I’m back “home”.  I’m a preschool teacher, and the last week has been wonderful.  I love my new job and it’s where I need to be right now.

The thing about preschool, though, is that 3- and 4-year-olds are exhausting.  Fun, yes….but exhausting.  I thought my life in elementary school wasn’t all that different from my life in preschool.  I was incorrect.  IncorrectaMUNDO.  Teaching reading and math requires a lot of….sitting.  We did a lot of sitting and a lot of writing.  I definitely moved around more than the average desk jockey…but I am now finding out that I didn’t move around half as much as the average preschool teacher (it’s a lot more difficult to go from a lot of sitting to a lot of moving than it is to go from a lot of moving to a lot of sitting as I did four years ago).

I’ve spent a lot of time the last three weeks making forms, writing lesson plans, drawing pictures, painting, reading, singing, and laughing.  I’m having a great time.  And I am SO TIRED.  I can’t remember the last time I was this tired, to be perfectly honest.  We’ve eaten out a lot (hence the increased volume of restaurant reviews).  I haven’t taken many pictures, and I nearly cried at the prospect of going to the grocery store tonight (I did manage to suck it up and get the job done).  What I’m trying to say is….there have been other things on my mind lately.  I’ve got to get my preschool groove back.  It’ll come, but until then, there will be a little less of me to go around.

That said, if anyone has any suggestions for recipes, restaurants, Friday lists, or other topics, let me know.  My brain is tired too!

Friday List: Exotic Foods That Aren’t

Back in June I posted a recipe for blackberry clafoutis, along with a story about how Philip and I once ordered clafoutis at a fancy restaurant and got our pronunciation corrected (it’s pronounced klah-foo-TEE, by the way).  Clafoutis actually has its roots as French peasant food.  That got us talking about foods that people tend to think are fancy, exotic, or “high class”….but in reality, they started out pretty low-class, or they’re really just simple fare.  Here are some I thought of….

1.  Ratatouille

I’m sure many of you have seen the Disney movie by the same name, right?  If you have, you are probably well aware that ratatouille  (pronounced “ra-ta-TOO-ee”) is pretty much a recipe for stewed vegetables.  I’m not downplaying its deliciousness, but it’s simple food.  I think people have a tendency to assume that if food has a name that they are not sure how to pronounce, it is fancy….but if you don’t speak French, then you may not be sure how to pronounce the words for milk (lait), bread (pain), cheese (fromage), or sugar (sucre).  See what I mean????

2.  Lobster

Okay, so lobster is definitely expensive, even if you cook it yourself at home.  It’s funny, though, because Philip and I watched a travel show once that was set in Maine.  The host was talking to a person who was saying that a couple of centuries ago lobster was fed to prisoners…pretty much exclusively.  Non-criminals didn’t touch the stuff, and even the prisoners would complain if they had to eat it more than once a week.  Huh?  I’d love to know how it reached the status it holds now….by the way, Philip refers to lobsters as cockroaches of the sea.  Not a big shellfish fan.

3.  Escargot

That is, snails.  They come in their little shell, cooked in garlic butter, with special tongs to hold them and a special fork to eat them.  I’ve never tried them, and I don’t know if I ever will (I’m not completely closed to the idea, but it does weird me out a little).  But they’re snails.  And they’re über-expensive.  My internet search taught me that “not all species are equally edible”, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking that perhaps I should start foraging for l’escargots in the woods behind my house….

4.  Couscous

I get it.  The name sounds weird.  I myself used to laugh about the word “couscous” and think that people that ate it must be complete crunchy hippies who probably smelled like patchouli (a smell I still find off-putting even though many people would probably lump me into the crunchy hippy category these days).  You know what couscous is?  It’s tiny pasta.  It takes five minutes to prepare.  You know how you prepare it?  You either steam it, or you pour boiling water over it and cover it for five minute.  See?  Not hard.  And not all that crunchy.  And while we’re at it….

5.  Hummus

For some reason I used to lump hummus and couscous together, like they should always be eaten at the same meal.  I guess it’s the whole Middle-Eastern food thing.  Back then I don’t think I even knew what hummus was.  I’ve been making my own hummus since Philip and I were first married eleven years ago, though, and I’m a believer (not to be confused with a “Belieber”).  My whole family thinks I’m crazy for liking it….but at least they know how to pronounce it.  It’s the people that call it “humus” (which is rich, fertile soil…not something I’d like to dip a pita wedge into!) that make me crazy!

6.  Clafoutis

I mentioned it above.  Apparently you can give anything a French name and it suddenly becomes fancy.  Clafoutis is essentially pancake batter poured over fruit and baked…or at least it’s as simple as that (if not more so).  You can make this at home.  Don’t fall for the hype.

7.  Curry

Powder, that is.  Curry powder’s not even really Indian.  It’s British.  It was created to provide Indian-food obsessed Brits with an easy way to season their food in an “Indian” way.  Not that I don’t like it….I do.  But you’re not likely to find it in India…that’s all I’m saying.

8.  Soufflé

Soufflé is one of those foods that makes people crazy.  They’re so convinced that they just couldn’t possibly make a soufflé.  I wrote about this a while back….I know soufflés seem intimidating, and we’ve all been told how easily they fall.  Truth is, soufflés have a handful of ingredients, take 15 minutes or less to put together, and don’t require tiptoeing around in our house slippers to be successful.  Believe.

9.  Cassoulet

It’s basically a bean and meat casserole.  I’ve never made it (I should!), but I’ve heard it’s delicious.  I know it takes a long time to cook (as do many dishes containing beans) but I’ve read recipes for it and it’s not exotic or fancy.  Beans and meat, people (no, not franks and beans).  Beans and meat.

10.  Wine

Okay, it’s no secret that I am not a wine drinker.  And I mean no offense to those of you who are…or to people who devote their lives to making great wine.  I understand that there are many nuances to making quality wine….kind of like roasting coffee (which is something that I do, of course, appreciate).  I just think it seems ridiculous to stand around with your nose in a glass talking about notes and swishing it around in your mouth or whatever.  I’m not talking about wine-tasting as a special event…I’m talking about people who do that mess at dinner.  Really?

I know I’ve missed a lot of stuff.  I need to start writing these things down as I go.  Can you think of any pretentious or exotic foods to add to my list?

 

 

Friday List: 10 Frightening Fast Food Menu Items

I don’t eat fast food very often, and when I do I’m pretty picky.  I do eat at some of the following restaurants, but sometimes their menu items make me question why I continue to do so.  Here are some of the most disturbing menu items I have found….

1.  McDonald’s: McRib

The McRib has a cult following (I always think of the episode of The Osbournes where Jack gets so excited, saying “McRib is back!”), and I don’t understand.  It’s formed meat.  Formed meat.  Let those words sink in.  It’s FORMED to look like meat with bones in it.  But there are no bones.  They serve something that looks just like McRib in school cafeterias, and I always wonder if they are manufactured at the same facility.  You won’t catch me eating one….

2.  McDonald’s: Chicken McNuggets

Again….formed meat.  And I’m not even sure what the “forms” are.  They look like boots, and hourglasses, and some other weird things.  The texture on the inside is barely meatlike.  I used to eat these things all the time, and now I’m like, WHAT??????  I’m not sure where my head was then.  (By the way, I don’t eat McDonald’s.  Not at all.  I have eaten there once since 2007, at an airport, for breakfast.  My choices were…limited.)

3.  Taco Bell: Doritos Locos Taco

It’s a Taco Bell taco on a taco shell shaped nacho Dorito.  Now, given my Dorito affinity, you might think that this would be appealing to me, but it isn’t.  For one thing, Taco Bell (like most fast food these days) gives me an earache (I suspect MSG or one of its, ahem, glutamic counterparts may be to blame)…but for another, there is just something unsettling to me about a taco shell coated with orange nacho-flavored powder (actually, I’m starting to have this feeling about Doritos.  That’s big, my friends.).  I wonder who came up with this idea.

4.  Taco Bell: Volcano Taco

It’s a taco in a spicy red taco shell.  A spicy RED taco shell.  Since corn isn’t red, I’m going to go ahead and assume that there is artificial coloring involved here.  I am not sure at what point it was decided that if a food was spicy it has to be red.  Pointless.  Just pointless.

5.  Hardee’s: Grilled Cheese Bacon Thickburger

Now, I’m not going to lie.  A lot of things about this sound good.  It’s a burger.  With bacon.  On a grilled cheese.  Three things that I love.  But wait….it’s not on A grilled cheese sandwich.  It’s between two grilled cheese sandwiches.  I’m pretty sure Hardee’s is just trying to see how many heart-stopping items they can put on their menu.  Overkill, I tell you.

6.  Burger King: Memphis BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwich

It’s not that there’s anything particularly disturbing about the sandwich itself….it’s pretty much just a barbecue sandwich.  But something about a barbecue sandwich from Burger King I don’t really understand.  Sorry.

7.  Krystal: Scrambler

There are many variations on this, and none of them sound appealing to me.  Breakfast meat (sausage or bacon), scrambled eggs (I do not eat fast food eggs.  In fact, I never have.  Ever.), and various other items (biscuits & gravy, pancakes & syrup, grits, American cheese…).  You “scramble” it all up together in the cup and eat it with a fork.  It’s been around for years, but I’m just not buying it.  Literally.

8.  Wendy’s: Dave’s Hot & Juicy 3/4 lb. Triple

This one blew my mind.  Three quarter pound patties and three slices of American cheese on a buttered bun.  A buttered bun.  Except I honestly wonder if it’s buttered (I don’t know if that term is “regulated”. It would not surprise me to learn that it was more like a margarined bun, but I have no proof of that…).  Oh yeah, there’s some lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickle on there.  Because vegetables are healthy.

9.  Subway: Steak, Egg, and Cheese

Really, anyway Subway item with eggs.  As I mentioned above, I don’t eat fast food eggs.  Subway’s eggs are the most disturbing, though, because you can see them in the table while they’re making your sandwich.  They’re discs.  Discs of eggs.  Philip ordered a sandwich with egg on it one time.  They asked him if he wanted “white or yellow”.  No thanks.  I’ll pass.

10.  Sonic: Cheese Tots

Okay, I’ll admit….it’s not the actual food that’s sooooo disturbing here.  I mean, lots of people love Sonic’s cheese tots or their chili-cheese tots.  I can’t blame them.  I love a good tater tot, and I like cheese on pretty much anything.  My problem with this item is the picture on the Sonic website.  It’s a pile of tots with a square of American cheese (sort of) melted on top.  Very squarely.  Not appetizing.

I have no doubts that there are many items that I missed that are equally frightening, or perhaps more so.  Do you have anything to add?

The Craziest Restaurant Marketing Gimmick…..

I remember several years ago I went to a conference out of town with a couple of coworkers.  One of them (Coworker A) had children while Coworker B did not (although she has since become a parent).  Coworker B had a nasty habit of eating out several times a week with her husband (not surprisingly, Coworker B had trouble budgeting).  While we were discussing this, Coworker A commented, “Well, for just the two of you it probably costs less to just eat out than to cook.”  Of course, I kept my mouth shut.  I don’t fancy getting into disagreements with others…..but I doubt I’d keep my mouth shut now.  Even then, though, I knew it wasn’t true.

Last year a large chain of casual dining restaurants ran a special…2 entrées plus dessert for $20 or something.  Their marketing campaign?  It costs too much to cook for two people.  Come to our restaurant.

I almost fell off my couch when I saw this.  Really?  Are you kidding me?  I mean, look.  I have those nights.  You know those nights?  Those nights when you had a lovely coq au vin or steak Béarnaise planned (obviously I am being facetious.  Not even I really cook like that.  Especially on weeknights.) and you just can’t do it so you go out to eat.  But you know what?  If you’re going to do it, call it what it is.  You don’t feel like cooking.  It happens.  You are not saving money.

Anyway, I do get how cooking for two people is frustrating.  Of course I do.  I’ve been cooking for two for more than eleven years, after all.  I learned to cook as a teenager when my mom wouldn’t get home until 6:30 or 7:00 most nights so I would often make dinner for the family.  Usually it was something like spaghetti, tacos, or a roast, and there were usually four of us eating (my dad was a long-haul trucker back in those days so he wasn’t generally home during the week).  As a college student I would buy bags of frozen chicken and just thaw what I needed…or I would eat ramen or cereal or something from the University Center.  When Philip and I started dating, I wanted to cook for him….but I had no idea where to begin.

I recall the first time that I cooked him a meal.  I made lasagna….a whole 13×9 pan of it.  I knew no other way, and it never occurred to me to make a smaller batch than what my mom would normally make for our family of five (and by that time, it was actually our family of 6 or 7 because my uncle, who has Down syndrome, lived with us, and my grandfather would eat with us on many Sunday nights). I wonder what happened to the uneaten lasagna….I’d be willing to bet most of it was thrown in the trash.

I recall that the first two cookbooks I ever purchased for myself were “cooking for two” cookbooks…and they were terrible.  I never made a single meal out of either of them, and I think I eventually gave them away.  Trying to choose something to cook out of a different cookbook was daunting, though…..most of the recipes made at least 4 servings, and why would I want to cook that much (apparently I had never heard of leftovers?).

I’ve gotten over this phobia.  Don’t fall for the hype-it’s not cheaper to eat out.  Not even at Krystal.  I’ve learned to eat leftovers.  Or freeze my leftovers.  Or only cook half.  Need help?  Just ask!

Friday List: Food Words That Drive Me Crazy

I don’t have cable anymore, but when I did, I watched a lot of those shows like Unique Eats and Unique Sweets.  It was pretty interesting to learn about new foods in unfamiliar places, but one thing drove me absolutely mad: the “foodie” words that I kept hearing over. And over. And over.  Here are just a few.

1.  Artisan/artisanal

I mentioned this a while back when discussing food trends that annoy me.  This word is used so much that it has lost its meaning.  Everything is artisanal.  Including tortilla chips.  Made by Tostitos.  Whatever.

2.  Rustic

Rustic no doubt refers to things that seem thrown together, or simple, or homey….and so on, and so on.  It seems that I hear this word used more often to describe bread than anything else.  The thing about things that are “rustic” is that producers spend a lot of time making things seem “rustic” so they can charge you more for those rustic food items.  Hmmmm.

3.  Earthy

Would someone please tell me what this word means?  I’ll be honest, I don’t hear a lot of my friends describing foods as “earthy”….but it’s a word I hear constantly on television.  It doesn’t seem like a compliment to me.  Isn’t earth synonymous with dirt?  So it tastes like dirt?  Do you like to eat dirt?  I’d prefer not to.  But, I mean, that’s just me…..

4.  Robust

Another word that just doesn’t make sense to me.  When I looked this up on dictionary.com, I found that the word means “rich and full-bodied”.  I don’t think I get that any more than the word “robust”.  What does full-bodied mean?  And I thought “rich” was a word to describe high-fat foods.  I’m so confused.

5.  Party in Your Mouth

Sorry, but this just makes me think of Anchorman.  “Are you coming to the pants….party?”  Totally inappropriate.  So is the aforementioned term.  It’s gross.  Don’t say it.

6.  Locavore

Ack.  Seeing as how my blog is titled “Chattavore” and it’s about local food, I probably shouldn’t cringe when I hear this word.  But something about it…bothers me.  One of my blog followers tweeted me this link earlier today that stated that the word “locavore” had been added to the Oxford English dictionary: http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/136111 (thanks, Emily!).  I certainly appreciate the term, but you won’t catch me using it.  And honestly, this word did not even enter my mind when I was naming my blog.  I promise.

7.  Meaty

Only in reference to things that aren’t meat.  Well, I guess I don’t really care for it in relation to meat, either…because who doesn’t know that meat is meaty?  But anyway…this word seems to be used mostly to describe mushrooms, which are a common stand-in for meat.  I use them frequently, and love them.  But they’re not meat, yo.

8.  Unctuous

I’ve heard (from Julia Child, nonetheless) that this word sounds much better in French.  Let’s leave it there.  To me, when someone says food is “unctuous”, it does not make me want to eat it.  Sorry.

9.  Foodie

Again, what does this word really mean?  Yep, I like food.  I like to cook.  I typically describe myself as obsessed with food.  I have probably used the term “foodie” somewhere on this blog, I won’t lie.  But I really do hate it.  I can’t stand it when someone asks me if I’m a “foodie”.  I think it’s just too general and too overused.

10.  Mouthfeel

Oh my heavens.  That just sounds so disgusting.  I get the meaning of the word, I do.  The texture of a food is important…the amount of fat, the amount of grit, the thickness.  Come on, though.  Mouthfeel?  That word makes me want to vomit.  And it sounds….dirty.  So unappetizing.

Honorable Mention: Poopy

Okay, so maybe this word doesn’t drive me crazy…but it makes me laugh and cringe at the same time.  I didn’t put it in the official “list” because I’ve only heard it used once, on an episode of Bizarre Foods, Andrew Zimmern described something as “poopy, but in a good way.”  I almost fell off of my chair.  Actually, I saw an episode recently where they were recounting funny moments, and this one got a mention.  I think even Zimmern himself was a little unsure after the fact of what that statement meant….

I know there are more.  I KNOW there are.  I just can’t think of them at the moment.  Tell me, what “foodie” words (hahaha!) annoy you?